I've started a new behavior system last week and am going to try to adjust reading to be what I had hoped it could be this week. I've been putting off small group work because they can't really be trusted to behave when I'm not just standing and monitoring them. (When I say behave, I don't mean just stay on task - I mean not hurting each other or themselves on accident). I'm switching my math time to the morning, as well. So I'm just going for it this last trimester.
At the beginning of the year, we received pacing guides, our daily schedule was mandated, we received new reading resources (which absolutely don't align with our assessments), and we started a new math program that we were told to follow, since it was designed to build on itself. Since then, we've been told the pacing guides were maybe too ambitious, we can adjust our schedule to meet our needs (Except for 2 areas - specials and interventions), the reading resource we've been pushed to use has fallen by as everyone is encouraged to use one strategy book, and last week it was suggested to me to start bringing in some material from the end of the year math units, just so kids are exposed to material they will need to progress on their benchmark tests.
Between the fuzziness of district mandates and the student behavior that I am trying to improve, I feel like I have been forced to be no fun. If I give an inch, the kids seem to take a mile. They move around the classroom slowly during transitions but run in the hallway when they should be walking in line. They draw pictures of underpants on post-its they are supposed to use to jot thoughts in their reading books (and pass them around, I might add). I made calming glitter bottles that they love, but I can't really trust them to use them safely, so I've not been able to implement it as best I'd hoped.
They also make me lovely notes and cards, tell me about their weekend, and give me hugs. I don't mean they're bad kids or they don't have redeeming values. There's just too many of them to be in one classroom and give each of them the attention they desire. I feel defeated.
I wanted to do so much at the beginning of the year...
Okay, first, I love the title of your blog! Second, this post resonated with SO many of my feelings midyear when I was a classroom teacher! The constant recalculations, redirections, reconfigurations... so exhausting! It's hard to ever feel like we're getting ahead or making a difference. Especially on a "classwide level." You didn't ask for advice, so I won't give any, but I will tell you a piece of advice that helped me once. A veteran educator early in the year stopped me in the hallway and said, "You're giving so much to your students. Make sure you give them an opportunity to give back to you." That year was tremendously hard, but each Friday as we sat around the compliment circle, when it was my turn, I knew I could count on at least one compliment reassuring me I was making a difference somehow... You're doing a GREAT JOB! Hang in there. <3
ReplyDeleteWow, sounds like it has been a rough year. I can't begin to imagine 26 second graders (or ANY second graders for that matter-- I am a middle school teacher through and through). That being said, hang in there and just keep loving on them. Those years of district mandates always seem to be the worst for building classroom community. Take care of yourself. I second what Marika said-- make sure you are taking time to let your students express gratitude. I'm sure they notice what you do for them!
ReplyDeleteI agree with you. Sometimes you are forced to be no fun, but when you love what you do and get paid for it, you really enjoy every single moment of your days! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI can’t imagine dealing w/ 26 rambunctious second graders. I go t know what to say to make your situation better, and I imagine mainly you need to feel supported. What do the kids’ parents say? Where’s your admin in all this? We use restorative justice in my district, but I don’t know how it works at the elementary level.
ReplyDeleteSome years are more about managing than anything else! We've all been there and understand your troubles. Celebrate the days, hours, moments, where they are working harmoniously. Find the little things to compliment and encourage your kids to notice those things too. Cut yourself some slack, even though it's hard to do. Spring is near and so is May. Make the best of the rest of the school year. You've got this!
ReplyDeleteThanks to everyone who commented words of support! I do like my students and want the best for them, which is why I'm so stressed, of course! I feel like every morning we start great when they come in and get ready and tell me how there night was or what is going on, but after lunch (I always get updates on how terrible they are in the lunchroom, even though I'm not there), everything falls apart and I get so frustrated. Thanks for reading!
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